Current mood:	tired
Entry tags:	crack, fanfic, naruto, oh god i'm insane

Crack! It destroys my brain
shaitanah has left us. At least for two weeks but that is bad enough. Before she left, she and I had another cracktastic conversation that resulted in me losing yet a few more braincells writing another pairing I never even wanted to know existed. She seems to have this effect on me which I find very alarming but it just can't be helped. Her evil Dorkiness is just too overwhelming for a poor SED like me to resist so I caved and wrote IT. The pairing is a surprise but if you think about it then it's very probable that something like this happened...

title: Love Made Of Ink
characters: surprise!
pairing: ?/Sasu, mentioned SasuNaru
warning: crack, cheesy and bad writing, RPS
disclaimer: not mine. I do not claim that this ever was reality.





He was beautiful. His hair was the colour of a midnight sky and his eyes were so dark they sucked you in until your very being was chained to their owner, a slave to his every whim. There was no flaw anywhere on him even his strange hairstyle was only another unique trait that made him different from everyone else. This perfect being's skin was so pale it seemed like alabaster, cold to the touch and still burning you with a passion unrivaled from anyone else in all the worlds.
He yearned for him, longing for a fleeting moment of love with the only one he had ever wanted, would ever want and still could never have. Why did he fall for such a distant desire? One who was as far as the stars and just as dead. His own wife could never excite him, inflame him like his picture did. In bed with her he had to imagine his face to reach orgasm and sometimes to even get hard at all, praying that he would never call the wrong name at the right time. Just imagining that cold glare above him, unforgiving and making him submit was-


"Masashi? Are you still working on the new chapter?" came my wife‘s voice ripping me out of my erotic daydreams into a cold and Sasuke-less reality.

"Just a few more minutes, I'm almost finished. I only have a picture of Sasuke left to draw. He's just getting out of the hot springs after thinking about how life has been so cruel to him. It takes up an entire side though, so it may take a while yet." I explained, hoping I could get back to drawing defined muscles wet and steaming with heat, sweat and water. I had to shift a bit to conceal the effect my thoughts were having on me.

"..." she was silent for a while but didn't move to get out of the room like I so obviously wanted her to.

"Drawing Sasuke again? Haven‘t you been getting a lot of complaints about the lack of Naruto in 'Naruto'? Maybe you should listen to your readers and not draw any of the Uchihas for a few chapters."

"NO! I mean, Sasuke is very important for the storyline! Leaving him out for too long would break my heart. Because he‘s become Naruto's most important desire, after all. Not because I like drawing him so much or anything like that." I tried to reason with her because clearly she had no idea what was really important to m- Naruto.

A sigh. Then.

"You know darling, sometimes you talk in your sleep. If you want to keep drawing your own wank material, that's fine but don't try to justify it through Naruto. Because frankly, using your own character as an excuse to perv on another one of your characters is even more pathetic than waking up with a hard-on from hell screaming out said character's name.“ Another pause. „Even if he is quite hot.“

I was mortified. She knew? What if she was going to tell anyone? My reputation would be ruined! No one would ever buy a Manga drawn by me ever again!

"What do you want? I'll do everything as long as you don't talk about this with anyone !"

She smirked, a very odd and disturbing gleam in her eyes. Triumph was written on her face making it glow in pleasure.

"SasuNaru."

And that was it. Nothing more.

"What? What do you mean?"

"You, honey, have been sorely neglecting the SasuNaru fan service. That's just not tolerable! I want the Yaoi back in 'Naruto', heck I want Sasuke back in Naruto! If you agree no one is ever going to learn of your strange fetish with one of your characters and everyone is going to be happy. What do you say?"

I blinked. Once then twice. My wife was a Yaoi fan girl. Fancy that.
"Deal."


The smirk transformed into a full blown smile and with one last glance at Sasuke bathed in sweat she swept out of the door, a swing in her steps I had not seen for a very long time.

I sat back in my chair thinking myself lucky that I had never told her that Naruto was based on me and there was no problem at all for me to include the fan service she so desperately wanted. It would just mean drawing my innermost fantasies; making them visible for the entire world to see.
With this new knowledge about my wife I could finally begin to realize a few of those fantasies that I'd been having for so long in real life. First thing tomorrow I would ask her to hang-up a life sized portrait of Sasuke on our bedroom ceiling. Life could only get better from now on and so with a smile on my face and a hand wandering south I went back to admiring my one true love.






I think KishiSasu is the only canon pairing that already exists. It's so clear once you think about it! His obsession with Sasuke is becoming more and more obvious the longer Naruto goes on. I think I really read somewhere that Naruto is based on him but I'm not too sure, it could have been my overactive imagination playing tricks on me again. I also found nothing about him having a wife, but let's just pretend he has one. You know one of those Japanese, nameless prototypes.


In other news, when I checked my stats on ff.net today I was really surprised that my InoSaku story has the most hits out of all of them. I can honestly say I never expected that because well, it's *Yuri*! Maybe because there aren't that many stories about them? People get desperate in search for their favorite pairings after all, they would probably even read something written by me.